The Consignment

CHARACTERS

Benji

Nneka –     Benji’s Mother

Chekwu –   Benji’s Father

Landlord (Alhaji Ibrahim Chukwudi) –  Benji’s Landlord

Wale –        Benji’s neighbour and friend

Abdul –      Benji’s neighbour

Neighbours

MORNING AT ACHARA:

Half-light flashes on a poorly-furnished room, three settees stand beside three walls and the centre habouring a round wooden table. On one side of the wall is a small black and white television sitting on a rectangular table with a cupped flower placed on it and on the wall, above hangs a large wall clock, beside it, a framed black and white picture of a young, smiling couple.

The swishing of a broom on the floor with Fela’s music is heard playing on low tune as lights come on. Nneka is seen sweeping and humming Fela’s song angrily. She is clad in faded sleeveless blouse and wrapper wrapped around her, from her bosom to her knees. Her ruffled hair reveals strands of countable whites. The house is a two-roomed apartment; the inner room is the bedroom while the room Nneka is sweeping is the parlour. Fela’s music stops and she suddenly stops and releases an audible hiss sounding like a punctured tube. She adjusts her wrapper and continues sweeping and singing another song loudly.

NNEKA: [Singing with all her energy]

You can’t succeed!

I said you can’t succeed!

Oh! My enemies,

I said you can’t succeed!

Park and go!

I said park and go!

Oh! My enemies,

I said park and go!

You have failed!

I said you have failed!

Oh! My enemies,

I said you have failed!

[The singing repeats: Benji hastily enters from the inner room in white singlet and tight shorts, holding a small broken black box and places it on the centre table. He hurries back into the room and out again with few piles of old clothes and a pair of sandals and starts arranging them into his box. Nneka continues singing mindlessly; Benji stops, watches Nneka, sighs aloud and shakes his head. He brings out a pair of faded jean trousers, hops into it, wears a shirt and continues parking his things into his box. Just then, gray-haired Chekwu comes out from the inner room in a shirt and wrapper on his waist, supported by a metal walking stick. He is foaming in anger, muttering words.]

CHEKWU: [Pointing at Benji and shaking his head incessantly] And where does he think he’s running to? See, this chain of foolishness has to be broken today!

NNEKA: [Pauses, broom on one hand and the other hand demonstrating] Ask me! He’s your son, isn’t he?

CHEKWU: Our Son! Does he not have more of you than me? In fact, he’s engineered by everything inside of you.

NNEKA: [Sarcastic] Our son, you said? He’s running to his usual hide-out. He’s doing that which you taught       him to do! That’s what you’ve always done since I knew you. Run, run and run!

CHEKWU: [Pointing and shaking his walking stick at Nneka] Woman, watch it! My mouth is unwashed this morning, don’t let it waste its blessings, I’m not set for your troubles this morning. I’m not— [Nneka cuts in]

NNEKA:  [Scornfully, retying her falling wrapper] You had better get set for  every trouble in this house. More and more troubles, since your son wants to deny me the joy of my womanhood. Does the mother tree not get set for the troubles which the day brings on her? She stands in the open, taking           every insult from all elements of the earth. She’s attacked by the fiery hands of the thunder, pushed left and right by the wind, chopped off by the birds of the air, thrown stones at by children. She’s—

CHEKWU: [Interrupts] Hey! Hey! And what’s the meaning of that?

NNEKA: [Drops broom on the ground and sits on an armchair] Meaning of what? Don’t tell me the bride price paid on your mother’s head was a waste?

CHEKWU: [Yells] Ah! Ah! What?

NNEKA: [Sighs and claps hands three times] Cheeeew! I had no water in my mouth saying what I said. Look at me. [Stands up, beats her chest and turns around, moving left and right and pointing her lower lips on Chekwu.] I’m a woman and I smell trouble whenever it’s steaming. More insults await you and your miserable son in this house. Is this life? Tell me, is this life? [Points at the room, Chekwu and her son.]

[Benji finishes packing his things, moves hurriedly into the inner room and out again moving up and down.]

CHEKWU: [To Benji] Can you can see the insult? Just see the misery you’re bringing to this family. But look let me tell you, you can run away from this home, but you can’t run away from your responsibilities. I’m getting old, I’m becoming your responsibility, better know this life’s reality.

BENJI: [Uninterestedly] What have I done? So someone cannot stay in this house in peace or even leave in peace.

NNEKA: [Mimics] What have I done? Yen! Yen! Yen! What have you not done? I hear the voice of a fool speaking, a very big fool, like the one I know.

CHEKWU: A fool in deed! Like the one I know.

[Benji sits tiredly looking at his parents.]

NNEKA: [Folds arms on her bosom, looking up.] Oh! Chim! What have I done? [Sitting down] Just look at me, I’ve been turned into the cow that moves about with faeces on its anus, attracting flies, laughter and ridicule. I’ve become—

[Chekwu Cuts in]

CHEKWU: And I, the roadside faeces that invite foes and friends for a stone casting competition. [To Benji] Just because of you. [Puffing] Hmmmmmm! Look at how miserable you’ve become at forty. Forty. Isn’t it said that one who becomes a fool at the click of forty has won the fools’ kingship contest?

NNEKA: Forty! No wife! No children! No house! No car! Nothing! [Hits hands, snaps fingers and begins counting with fingers] One. Two. Three. Four.   Five. Forty! What can you brag about among your mates? May God forbid bad thing o! When will I be saluted by the charming deity of goodwill like my fellow women? I’ve been beaten by life. It keeps whipping and whipping me. The rains of abuses pour down to whip me more. Whatever it was we did wrong at the beginning of our lives or at the middle of our lives, is it so awful that we now have to suffer this   much? At the Afor Market, my foes and friends,  all the people of Achara,  keep saying, all hail the evil mother whose only child has chosen to be a waste at forty—

CHEKWU: [Interjects] Evil! All hail the wicked father whose heir has won the fools’ wrestling contest. [Pauses] But I put it to you, [pointing his walking stick at Benji] we must break the yoke of foolishness placed on you by whomever. My son will never be the king of fools.

NNEKA: We must destroy this yoke!

CHEKWU: [Exclaims] Yes! We must destroy this yoke! [To Benji] And you’re just here looking at us. You can’t even talk. Oh! Look how foolishness has muffled his mouth. Let me ask you this Benji, would the boy you were yesterday be proud of the man you are today? Would what you didn’t do right today praise you tomorrow? [Benji looks away.]

NNEKA: [Sympathetically] Every crown of foolishness placed on my son, be destroyed!

CHEKWU: [Chuckles: to Nneka] It’ll be destroyed, woman. We’re on it.

          [To Benji] See, let me tell you, we must go now to see the girl whose bride           price           we have paid. If you must return to the city, then be ready to take her along with you.

BENJI: [Snaps fingers] You paid bride price for who? For me? It’s not me. I          go nowhere with you!

NNEKA: You must go and see that girl. You must marry her, even if we have to    tie you with rope on your neck like a goat into marriage. Even when you’re dragged and you keep bleating mee! mee! mee! [Demonstrates] You must marry her. You can’t keep being a fool. Fool! Fool!

BENJI: And I’ll gladly be the goat and you’ll have to tie me and drag me down to her place. Mee! Mee! Mee!

CHEKWU: Voice of a fool again! Only a fool would be glad to be tied. You can        be afraid of anything, but let me ask you this, what does fear stop?  Life!   Life! It doesn’t stop death!

NNEKA: Yes!  [To Benji] See, we’ve done all the necessary things needed to be done on her        head.          So, don’t shame us. You must go there.

BENJI: Interesting. You did something on her head! For who?

CHEKWU: I must tell you this, if you don’t go there, I’ll have to parcel her and           deliver her to you like a consignment.

BENJI: [Chuckes] Hahahaha! Parcel who and deliver who to who? You two must           be joking.

NNEKA: You heard your father. She will be parceled and ‘waybilled’ to you. So, be ready to receive your consignment when she arrives. [ She moves to the   direction of the framed picture on the wall and looks up to it.] This is       Chekwu and Nneka, young couple. Married at the freshness of their years.     We didn’t bring disgrace to our parents. We didn’t force tears out of the       watery eyes of our ancestors. We did what is right when the bell of time was jingled. At the right time. Look at you, Benji. I see your hairs gradually turning into the colour of the morning dews. I see your body shrinking into dry sugarcane. Soon, you’ll be dancing up and down. Up and down, like this and like that! [Demonstrating]

[Benji stands angrily and jerks his bag leaving the room; Chekwu follows him, quarreling behind. Nneka stands by the door side, preventing him from going.]

NNEKA: [Crying out] You’re going nowhere! You can’t keep making your     father’s ancestors weep in their graves. No! Should you make me die early, my ghost will forever hurt you. You’ll close your eyes and see me chasing you with a sharp cutlass.

[Benji laughs, forcing himself away.]

 CHEKWU: Benji, come back here! You can’t keep being a fool! Go and she’ll be           parceled and sent to you immediately. Come back here, Benji! [To Nneka] Nne, leave him. Let him go! This evening, she will arrive Owerri to meet       you!           [Following Benji, the two exit.]

[Nneka stands looking as the two leave.]

BENJI: [Offstage] Papa, leave me; I’m not ready for all this. Are you going to           force me?

CHEKWU: [Offstage] Yes! I will…

NNEKA: [Soliloquising] What it is making a man to detest women is what I still           don’t understand. I used to be worried if his machine is working. I know           he’s active. At the early hours of today, I peeped into his room while he was asleep and I saw his boxers making a canopy up and down. Has his father       not asked him? Has he not also checked? We both saw the canopy       made          in his trousers. A large canopy. He’s active. So, what then is keeping      him? [Claps hands twice, looks up and raises hands up.] May it not     be      what I’m thinking.

[Nneka picks her broom and continues singing with teary voice.]

You can’t succeed!

I said you can’t succeed!

Oh! My enemies,

I said you can’t succeed!

Park and go!

I said park and go!

Oh! My enemies,

I said park and go!

You have failed!

I said you have failed!

Oh! My enemies,

I said you have failed!

          [ Light fades on her]

AFTERNOON AT OWERRI:

There is uproar offstage. The noises of neigbours are heard aloud.

NEIGHBOURS: [Speaking one after the other.]

ONE: He must leave!

ONE:  He must pay!

ONE:  He must pay or leave!

ONE: No! It’s not done!

Light opens on a public compound; the landlord is seen in a fight with one of the tenants and his wife pleading.

LANDLORD:  Wale, you must pay me my money! You must pay or you leave         my house today. If you don’t pay or leave, we can’t live peacefully in this    city of Owerri. The world will gather. It’ll be a third world war for us. By        the time I’m through with you, you’ll know why spirits don’t come out     during the daytime.

WIFE: Oga Landlord, please don’t chase us out. My husband will pay.

 WALE: [Apologetically] Yes, Landord. Give me more time I’ll pay. More           time…more time…more!

[Landlord paces about, Wale and his wife follow him up and down, pleading.]

LANDLORD: [Raging] More time! What more time are you talking about? Wale, are you the only Muslim in this city? I’m also a Muslim. Where are all the tenants in this compound? Come out! There’s a matter on ground for     settlement. [Moving up and down, calling tenants by name.] Where’s          Abdul? Come out! Where’s Udoka? Come out! Where’s Effiong?        Where’s Ebere? Peter! Atinuke! Benji! Everybody, come out! This   compound           will be set on fire now if Wale and his wife don’t pay me my       one year rent!  Where’s Benji, his friend? Where’s Benji?

[A voice answers from offstage.]

VOICE (MAN): [Laughing] He’s gone to marry!

LANDLORD: Finally? I don’t blame them, dogs of the same kind, running     always away from what is not after them.

VOICE (MAN): His father has married for him at the village!

LANDLORD: I don’t care. Come out everybody! There’s fire here! Wale must           pay or leave!

[Enter neighbours from different directions outside, chanting.]

NEIGHBOURS: [In unison]

Wale must pay!

Wale must pay!

Pay or leave!

[Wale and wife stand unsteady, watching. Landlord is shouting up and down.]

ONE (WOMAN): [Mocking] Alhaji Landord, so this matter hasn’t been settled?           You mean…

ONE (MAN): [Cuts in] How can the matter be settled, when Wale has been owing a year rent but slaughtered a cow yesterday for Sallah celebration?

ONE (MAN): [Screams] Omo, yawa don gas!

ALL: [At the same time] Oho! [Speaking one to another]  I saw him slaughtering      a big cow yesterday and calling friends and family for party.

ONE: He slaughtered his cow and ate alone, without giving to any of us his           neighbours. He must pay oga landlord or leave!

LANDLORD: Wale must pay me or leave this house. I’m locking his rooms now.           How can I the Landord, Alhaji Ibrahim Chukwudi, kill a small goat for           Sallah celebration and a tenant who has been owing a year rent, slaughter a mighty cow, partying up and down? Pikin wey dey chop akara no be for him     head him dey chop am?

ALL: Yes! Na for him head o!

[Wale and wife still pleading. Both prostrate on the feet of the Landlord begging, he pushes them away, moving.]

ALL: [Chanting]

Wale must pay!

Wale must leave!

Pay or leave!

ONE (WOMAN): Oga Landlord, edakun, pity Wale. Na cow him kill, no be    human being.

ONE (MAN): [Scornfully] Him no gimme but walahi, Landlord! Fity Wale. You           killed Gwoat and him killed shanu! Biko, fity him! Landlord—

LANDLORD: [Interrupts] What are these ones saying? Leave Wale? May           Amadioha or Sango strike those openings on your head that look like      mouths. How can I leave a man who feels so contented without knowing that      there’s a level of contentment that leads to poverty? While others are          jumping out of their beds in the morning, he would still be inside making     love with his wife. Now when rent comes, he begins to beg. Oh poor woman, I pity you!

ONE (WOMAN): Wale pay! Pay! [Laughing away: to Wale] But where did you       get the money to slaughter a cow?

ALL: Ohoooo! Where? Where?

[The compound is tensed; two neighbours exit, some stay behind with Wale and the Landlord. Just then, Benji arrives hastily with his box.]

ALL: [Jointly] Welcome!

BENJI: [Confused] Thank you. [Looking around] What’s happening here? Why’s everyone looking at me?

LANDLORD: [Attacking] Questions! Do you have shit on your body that           everyone should be looking at you like a new masquerade?

BENJI: I should be asking them that question, Alhaji Landlord.

LANDLORD: Ask them! Ask your friend, Wale, too. Also, tell him that one should not be too stingy to neglect or forget his responsibilities.

[Two neighbours wave goodbye and exit.]

BENJI: What do you mean by that?

LANDLORD: Oh! I thought I was talking to a man. Don’t tell me your father’s           marriage to your mother was a waste of money and manhood. I blame your father who has allowed you stay till this time to begin to grow feathers on     your head.

BENJI: [Hisses] Cheeeeeew! See, I’m not ready for your troubles this time.           [Walking away and other tenants within burst into laughter].

LANDLORD: Where’s the wife I heard they married for you? Don’t tell me you           didn’t come back with her? [To one of the tenants] Abdul, where’s he     going?

ONE (ABDUL): [Sarcastically] Walahi Benji, you no try fa! My father is married me a wipe and I no gather am come back? Kai!

BENJI: [Still walking away]Abdul, you dey craze! [Neighbours continue rolling        in laughter.]

LANDLORD: [To Benji] Benji, I wish I were your father…

ONE (ABDUL): [Cuts in] Kai! Oga Landlord, you wishing you’re his pada? Me,           God porbid walahi!

LANDLORD: Yes! I would have married for him a long time ago, package the           wife and waybill her to him as a consignment!

ALL: [Laughing together] Oga, Alhaji Landlord!

ONE (ABDUL): Kai! Oga Landlord, waybill fa!

ONE (MAN): Oga Landlord, carry go! Alhaji Ibrahim Chukwudi, the only           Landlord amongst Landlords in the city of Owerri. Carry go!

[Landlord laughs and turns around, Wale and his wife are no longer there.]

LANDLORD: [Yells] Wale! [Coughs] Hugh! Hugh! Hugh! Where’s that good         for nothing man? Where has he gone with my money? Come and pay me my money! I can’t slaughter a small goat and you slaughter a big cow and still be owing me a one year rent. No! He keeps on begging around yet he has   money to kill a cow. Money for party. Call him a beggar now; he’ll          begin          to rant and shout like Oduduwa, his ancestor. But how can he deny being a beggar when he knows all the stingy people in this street? He knows all     the stingy people in the city of Owerri.  Wale! Wale!

ALL: [Chanting]
          He must pay!

He must leave!

He must pay!

He must leave!

[Landlord moves about shouting, the other tenants exit to direct directions.]

Light fades

EVENING AT OWERRI:

Offstage: the voice of a man is heard.

VOICE (MAN): [Yelling]

Yawa don gas!

Kasala don burst!

Mimed actions: A shabbily dressed young woman is seen entering the compound with a big box and handbag. The Landlord comes out and sees her. She greets the Landlord and hands him a paper, he looks at it and shakes his head, walks left and right rapidly. The compound neighbours begin to enter one after the other.

LANDLORD: [Bellows] Chai! Chai! I said it!

ONE (WOMAN): What’s it, Oga Alhaji Landlord?

LANDLORD: [Moving up and down] Benji! Where’s Benji? Benji! Oya, show!           Your consignment has arrived!

ALL: [In unison] Consignment? What?

LANDLORD: Benji, come. Come, your parents have really done well. I know that no man would want his strength and manhood to be a waste. [To the Young woman]  Young woman, welcome. So you mean you’re the one they sent to him from the village? From Achara to Owerri! [She nods her head in the      affirmative.]

ABDUL: Shikenan!

ALL: (Echoing] Correct!

[Benji comes out with two big boxes in a hurry.]

ALL: [Screaming] Chai! Chai! Chai!

ONE (MAN): I said it, yawa don gas!

ONE (WOMAN): Kasala don burst!

LANDLORD: [To Benji] Benji, where are you going? Your consignment has           arrived all the way from the village.

ABDUL: Kai! Walahi, if I were you, I would go and unwrap my package to know           how she looks.

ALL: [Together] Correct! Benji go and take in your wife!

ONE (WOMAN): Man, go and take your wife, jor. You should be grateful your           parents ‘waybilled’ you a wife. How long will you continue running away           from your responsibility.

LANDLORD: [Offers the young woman a seat to sit.] Young woman, please sit           down first. We will settle this matter here and now. [She moves and sits on     the seat.]

BENJI: [Teary voice] Did I tell anyone that I need a wife now? I’m not ready yet. I’m not— [Interruption]

ALL: You’re not ready yet?

ONE: When will he ever be ready?

ONE: At forty, he’s not ready!

BENJI: When I’m ready, I’ll marry. Not now!

LANDLORD: Benji, biko, when will you be ready? When a woman shoots out a penis? Or when a man grows two pumpkin fruits on his chests?

ALL: Oooooh! Chai!

LANDLORD: Maybe when a cock grows teeth. Or when fire starts falling from the sky. Man, go and unwrap your package. Taste and see how the package looks. Don’t run away from your responsibility.

ONE (MAN): Benji, don’t leave what you ought to do when you ought to do it,           you may never have the opportunity to do it again. Here’s a wife sent to you, marry!

BENJI: [Crying] How can I marry a wife now when things are really hard? I           can’t be bringing children into this world to come and suffer. [To the lady]           Please, young woman, go back. I can’t marry you. I don’t need a wife!

YOUNG WOMAN: [Crying] Where do you want me to go when everything has           been done on my head? [She firmly hugs her bag.]  I’m living here with you, my husband.

ONE (WOMAN): [Sympathetic] Oh! Sorry oh! Benji, who do you this thing?           Pele!

[Just then, Wale comes out, sees the Landlord and runs away. The Landlord follows him.]

LANDLORD: Wale, come and pay me my money or you leave. So you’ve been           inside all this while.  Or are you just coming back? You can’t rest your head           under this roof today. Wale! Wale! Wale! You can’t run forever!

[Commotion in the compound: Landlord Pursues Wale, Benji quickly takes his boxes running away, some neighbours follow the Landlord, and others follow Benji. The young woman stands looking confusedly.]

ALL: [Chanting]

 Benji, come to your wife!

Wale, you must pay!

Benji, unwrap your parcel!

Wale, you must leave!

[As everyone runs around chanting, light fades.]

IWU JEFF

is a Nigerian writer and instructor of English and literature. Some of his poems and short stories have appeared in some local and international magazines and anthologies. He is the author of the play, Verdict of the Gods (2020) published by Transconventional publishers, Abuja, and the novel Files of the Heart (2018) — winners of the WRR Publishers’ Green Author Prize. In 2019, he became the first editor-in-chief of The Ogene, a publication of the Igbo Students’ Association, Federal College of Education, Kontagora, Niger State.